As we got to chatting a bit, he told me his name was Billy. Super nice guy who apparently had been working out at this gym for several years. We swapped stories about our favorite workouts and talked a little bit how crowded it was in the free weight area. Billy is one of the most athletically built dudes I have ever seen. He looks a lot like the well known bodybuilder with a twin, Lewis Harrison see not safe for work link.
Same age as me but probably looks closer to This guy has 16 inch guns, a massive chest and veins popping out of his forearms like the hulk. So as time went on, I would regularly see Billy on Monday nights. Honestly, I had no idea that Billy was gay. It never really came up I guess. Plus he never gave me an indication to think he was gay either. Top 10 reasons straight guys have sex with gay men.
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As we drove from the gym in his black pickup truck, I remember him telling me that he thought my arm tattoo was cool and how he was thinking of getting something for himself. It seemed like we were at that restaurant for hours — to the point that I had to call my wife and let her know I was going to be late getting back home because I was hanging with my gym buddy.
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He told me that was born in St. Pete and was a mechanic for an airline. I shared with some things to — about my wife and two boys. Plus there was football. At some point, I remember him telling me that he had broken up with someone about six months earlier.
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As I listened carefully, it became clear to me that his ex was a guy that he met at AA. Looking back, I can remember feeling a bit shocked that Billy was gay. Like I said, he just never game me that impression — ever. And he never once made me feel like he was looking for something.
Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?
Later that night when I got home and went to bed, my wife and I made love. I can remember kissing her and thinking of him when my eyes were closed. My wife must have figured out something was off because she asked if I was OK. I told her that it had been a long day and that I probably just needed to rest. Just having those thoughts about Billy kind of bothered me for the next several days. Time and time again I hear horror stories of bad first dates, ghosting and people telling flat out lies to first daters. I have had many, many, many first dates in the past year and a half but very few second dates.
Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date:. This is a personal favorite of mine. For the past year or dating, I have made the conscious effort to NOT state what it is I am looking for upon meeting someone in person or online. I am very happy to remain single.
I have a wonderful career, great friends and an amazing family that keep me pretty busy. Should an awesome guy enter the equation — great. But a partner is neither going to define who I am or make or break my future. If someone reaches out to speak to me, I ask them what they are looking for because I am amenable.
I am happy to have fun, meet new friends or go on dates in the hopes that it turns into a relationship. If not, then why go on a date in the first place?
I've always been straight
There are an endless amounts of ways for gay men to get their dick sucked in large metropolitan areas: This seems a pretty fair assessment to me. You may end up being pleasantly surprised by what you find. This excuse for not meeting again is the oldest and lamest of them all. We are all busy at work, and honestly, I would expect nothing less from the person I am dating. I love a man with drive. Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse. We all have jobs and lives: If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates.
Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage. We all have pasts and sometimes the things that have happened to us in the past can be very traumatic. I have found that most strong-willed people can take that baggage and turn it into a positive, therefore making themselves a better person in the process. We all have exes. We all have problems with our jobs or strive for something better.
Like I said, we are all in different places and some of our baggage is heavier than others. But asking questions and being honest usually does the trick. It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again. If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens.
For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special. Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened. There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place.
The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting. I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless. However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all.
It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them. The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is? No one is perfect.
No one will ever be perfect. And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date. Yes, it stings. Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard.